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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

A Party? Am I invited?!?

I have to admit that being back the feeling in the air is quite different, and a number of things have changed. It's almost like he decided to finally wake up from the dream he was having and see clearly what was in front of him. I'm happy and sad, yesterday I found myself having difficulties to shake the memory of the despair I felt the day I left.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The road that led me back to you..

I have wanted to post an update for a few days now, but have not found the right words to convey the feelings in my heart. It has been one week since I left my home and was carelessly moved aside, today I write again from my home and I will fill you in the details of why that is.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The confusion of a waking nightmare

I've been walking around in between some kind of dream in which there is no real escape. I can't hide the fact that my heart is so crushed I feel like I might just disappear at any moment. I smile through tears anyhow, though everyone around me feels the deepness of my despair, they only try to surround themselves around me in hopes to lessen it.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Blindsided, the end of you and me

So let me tell you about what happened yesterday. I was blindsided completely. I sit her.e, knowing some of the things going on in my previous relationship but not for once doubted my ex lovers loyalty to me, shows how wrong I apparently was...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Some love

Since my last post was beyond dreary, I'm adding some love to my blog now also. Please enjoy another one of my favorite works by e.e. cummings.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

if wishes were horses, we'd all ride

What does it take to be in a relationship? Does it take alot of faith? Trust? Sacrifice? Is it a matter of who rules over who or who makes more money? Does it come with unspoken rules? Are there territorial boundaries? Is there really any right and wrong when it comes to a fight?

Monday, February 7, 2011

some beautiful words

Today I will not write about my weekend, because I was in such turmoil that thinking about it now only gives me stress. Instead, I will post an absolutely beautiful poem by Pablo Neruda.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

If you were me, you would think differently

It's easy to place blame on other people when you look at their lives and think to yourself "I could've done it better" but really....could you? I know from my time spent in China I got alot of mixed reactions when I returned home. Some thinking I'm weak willed and one of those women that love to be abused, and others thinking that I'm the bravest person they've ever met. I can guarantee without a doubt, I did the best possible thing at the best possible time to do it. Don't judge what you have absolutely no idea about.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Oh no he didn't...

Why is it women are so much more forgiving than men when caught in a lie? I found myself in the same situation recently, and asked for my mates response. Unsurprisingly, he stated that he'd have been much worse than I was being at that moment. With a cool head, I walked away from it and let myself consider the outcome.