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Tips for Men

This is inspired by a piece I was reading earlier on things all women want. I disagreed with alot of it, because if in reality my lover was ever that mushy, I'd break the door down trying to get out of the house. I'm happy to say, I never have to think on any of these and I thank god I don't! These are some things I've learned in my own lifetime and through the many many friends that have come to me with their thoughts, feelings, and wants in their own relationships. While all of these will not pertain to all women, it will definitely categorize the majority (most definitely in my experience).

#1 Compliments! There are never too many compliments for a woman, and if you notice when a woman gives a compliment, she really hits the perfect mark so you should too. We need them every day and especially at our lowest times.

#2 Affection. There is a difference between affection and touch, and touch is the lesser form. Affection can be defined more clearly by a look or a word behind a touch, it is a feeling you get from any type of skin contact and it's very important. Now for me personally, I don't like ANYONE to touch me (yeah, I gave alot of hell when I was pregnant....all those people wanting to feel the baby did not see that coming I'm sure...) however if you are in my close circle, then it is needed. Anyhow it packs alot more meaning then simply saying "I love you" at times, and I do believe it is required to receive affection at least once a day (though I think most women require more).

#3 Romantic gestures. This can be tricky, because men always feel this means gifts and gifts equal money and really that's just not true. A romantic gesture can be something as simple as getting up and getting a drink for her when you notice she's low, or a backrub, or even a sweet few words spoken randomly throughout the day (ex: "sometimes when I look at you I'm stunned you're with me"). Gifts can fall into this category as well, though a gift given without feeling does not count sadly.

#4 Support. This doesn't mean financial I mean specifically always having her back. You are supposed to be the one she can tell anything to, and the one that will always stand up for her when she's being taken out of context as well as you are the one that should always be there for her when she's in a bind. Her problems are going to be your problems, just deal with it because if you don' and believe when she's upset and you have not stepped foot in her problem, she will not want to talk to you and could even end up blaming you for something to do with it. That's life.

#5 Sex! Some women do not like to be pressured into sex, but all women do want it. I think most women want sensual sex as opposed to all out dirty. We like the romantic side of this, because sex when mixed with emotions is generally more fulfilling for us, though it has little to do with our big O. Sensual sex is alot of foreplay, with full attention to detail and slow....long looks....passionate sex. All out dirty is just how it sounds, with no specific need of any type of romance involved. Remember though that, women need a mix of both to feel that this department is taken care of thoroughly.

#6 Time. There are two types of time though, alone time (1) and your time (2). Alone time are those times when a woman just needs to simply be left alone. You don't need to talk to her aside from simple questions nor be all on her. This is time for herself and for her thoughts though please remember that any woman that sits and thinks for too long can never do anyone any good, especially if this alone time comes during a fight or after some dramatic event. Your time is the time spent with the two of you only. This is not the same as you both come home from work, eat, watch some tv and go to! This is the time that the both of you are cuddling, paying attention to each other, and/or talking. Remember your time is important on occasion, or else the relationship starts to feel too seperated.

#7 Fights. It is beyond important to never go to bed angry, and I don't think I can stress this one enough. A woman (not all I'll grant you, though this will group the majority of us), does not shrug things off anywhere near as easily as a man will. It will sit inside our brains and decay and turn everything in it to mush. The next morning you might wake up happy and glad that the fight didn't turn up to be that important and forget about it, while the woman will wake up thinking you more then likely care little for her to put something important off so easily. It doesn't matter how you end an arguement or fight, it is only important that you do so before it goes on for too long especially overnight.

a few pointers to the ones not in a relationship yet

#1 When you give a compliment, make sure you look her directly in the eye and that your attention is on her, else the compliment is null and void and now you come off as an ass. Good job.

#2 DO NOT worship the ground she walks on, a little space is necessary and it is important to seem slightly indifferent at times (not cold, indifferent). This will focus a womans attention on you very quickly and if you don't seem cold, then you seem intriguing, but be careful that line is very thin.

#3 Make sure she knows you are interested. Women can change what they want quicker then you can think it, so if the bait is not secure, the fish is already gone to look for another worm.

#4 Make a promise, keep it. You've no idea how important this is, even the little ones. Trust and believe it will be kept and filed away each time you forget or make a mistake, though we only keep score cards on the bad things and the really really big romantic things.

#5 Smell nice, look nice, put on your best face. We focus so much attention to detail that all of these will be noted, and if you start slacking in one area too soon, we may start to wonder if this is a sign of laziness or something lacking.

#6 Don't be a pushover. There are some women that love this, and they are the ones that have the lowest confidence in themselves. We need someone we can stand up to, that is on the same level with us. The line has to be centered, and can be tilted slightly but it should never be too much on either persons side.