Why is it women are so much more forgiving than men when caught in a lie? I found myself in the same situation recently, and asked for my mates response. Unsurprisingly, he stated that he'd have been much worse than I was being at that moment. With a cool head, I walked away from it and let myself consider the outcome.
Don't get me wrong, it's not the first time though the grade of lie is what makes me angry. I've also been in the same boat, being caught in a lie though I immediately admitted to it afterwards. There's lies you tell to another persons face, and there's lies that are in our actions. I have the most trouble with lying in person. I think I must put out every single tell tale sign that I'm doing it and am swamped with guilt afterwards, though I see no such compulsion in some others. My lover was sincere in his admission after as well as that he will not do it again. Despite not being able to lie I like to think that though sometimes I might turn a blind eye to what happened, I can tell still whether a story rings true or false.
I'll go ahead and release that the lie itself is not relationship breaking, though it is hurtful period. We put trust in our mates to treat us as we treat them, leaving no room for doubt when their actions are played out daily. The moment mistrust and doubt come into play, a relationship is on it's way out. After all this time, I can choose to hold onto my doubtful feelings or to simply release them. Of course, I'm going to let them go.
I know we are not supposed to compare our situations to those in the past, but at times I find myself doing it regardless. My previous boyfriends may have set the bar on what I want in a relationship, but my childrens father definitely set what I do not want and will not tolerate. Some I'm sure think that the two have simliarities, but maybe they are not as close as they think and maybe also, they are not things that I hated previously. So I suppose I do compare, though not directly. I think it's a terrible thing to outright compare two people, and then tell the other person how you are doing it. That just seems cruel.
Anyhow, point of this post is for everyone to remember that while a lie is a lie, sometimes it's not worth upturning your whole world over. People need to learn how to let go of some things, and not to ignore others. It's all in the signs and on what you judge important, not someone else. I love going to my friends for outward looks on occasion, however any advice received only goes as far as the conversation. I never want it to be said that I cannot make my own choices. In the end, we are all only happy with something that follows through with our heart. If our brains try to interupt that, we are only happy when the brain falls along in line and then we can merrily give ourselves over completely.
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