The way you move

The dance that we share our souls to is so complex. One moment I am spinning in his arms feeling out of control, another he is dipping me to the floor as everyone watches and see's me as the accessory on his arm, and sometimes we are so close and peering into each others eyes that we are the only ones there.



I suppose this is the way things are, though the change of the beat can sometimes be chaotic. I am not angry anymore for things left said or unsaid, I am not sad for things we've lost, I only see now that..if he was not there I could not break through it. He can be the light at the end of the tunnel when he must be it. I love and hate my lover, I am drawn in and pushed back from all that he is. But even if everything is spinning out of control I can see him clearly, whether it is through eyes of sadness or love.

I should give him that much, that I appreciate him though I will complain to no end about things that he does. I feel bad because though this is my personal journal, I only find the need to fill it with the bad things lately instead of what it was originally intended for..my thoughts, my ideas, the lighter side of who I am. I feel bad that I only show a side of him that anyone could hate.

So I will show a different side. After the fight is over, after I am done hiding away my thoughts and hugging myself, I will always treasure the warmth that suddenly wraps itself around me. It's easy to admit things said in anger for him, a little time to admit to seeing my point of view and understanding how I feel. And then he shows me, exactly how he does truly feel.

Anyhow I am on a roll today. I'll be back with more later, just as soon as I get some house things done first :)