Two peas in a pod

Juju has decided that he likes my lover very much. He has decided that anything he does is considered not only hilarious but also exactly what he wants to repeat the remainder of the day. My little heart needs so badly someone to look up to, and in all honesty I am most happy it is him.



His own father leaves much to be desired. In the current state of things juju has no chance of ever meeting his real father. He is just too ashamed of him. It is my deepest hate of my ex to hold something over little juju's head like this, something that not only he had nothing to do with but that my ex himself is responsible for. Juju would never be wheelchair bound right now or having to see all of these dr's and get surgeries if he would have just kept his hands to himself. Attacking a woman, especially a pregnant one I fully believe should be punishable by removal of limbs from the body.

I hate him, I doubt I'll ever find myself getting over it. The older my little Juju gets and the more he grows into looking like him the more heavy my heart feels. I think that even at this point if he wanted to see Juju I don't know that I'd let him. I could never be sure that juju wouldn't catch some kind of disgusted look on his face or see disappointment that is all too common in those twin asian eyes.

Juju deserves better than that. The little guy is tougher than nails and has a heart stronger than anyone on this earth. He asks for no help in manuevering himself in and on objects, and trys very hard to hold in his fear when he is alone or unsure of something. Seeing the way he is with my lover is filling. Juju looks upto another spirit as demanding as he is and sees hope for what he could become. I know it, I see it shining in his eyes. It both scares and excites me to see such a possibility....could I dare hope for my lover to one day let himself be placed on that pedestal that all children leave open for their dad? I don't know, but I do hope so. I hope he will always prove himself as worthy, and that juju will always come out on top. I love both with all of my heart, it contents me to see it so.