It doesn't help that moving has been postponed again, nor that my mother is starting to listen to her friends and nag me with the same old arguements that I have to tirelessly fight out to the point of a no speaking period for at least three days. Maybe that's a good thing though, she tends to drive me up the wall when she calls six times a day to chat about how awful she feels or what mail she received that day.
I try to take everything in patiently. I will always listen to her go on about things that I'd rather not spend my afternoons thinking on just as a good daughter should, yet I find that age is making her more selfish as time goes by. She rarely asks about me for my own thoughts, only how she can change it to suit her needs. I love her though, despite how frustrating she can be.
Finding a job has been ridiculously difficult as well. I'm either overqualified or under, never just right for any job that I apply for. I'm attempting to look for something office bound, mainly because I need a steady paycheck and something slightly more professional than McDonalds. Don't get me wrong, I am also looking in that direction to, deciding to humble myself enough to take that fall from the corporate ladder and suck it up because hey, I need some money...beggars can't be choosers.
So, to take some pressure off of my depressing thoughts I've turned to burying myself in my books. They are the one place that I can turn to and know that my mind is going to be taken off of whatever it is that is driving me crazy. So, I pop into the local GoodWill store and hope to find some rare treasures. I'm rarely disappointed.
I picked up a copy of Ramses, The Son of Light written by Christian Jacq and found myself instantly attached and ended up reading the entire thing in two days time. Now I'm even more desperate for money so I can buy the five volumes that come after this first one. I love history books though, especially when it can closely relate to the true story. The man that wrote this though did such a good job, I don't think anyone will ever be 100% sure that he got it right and as I understand there is some debate as to what really happened with the Egyptian King Ramses but in truth I am happy just drawing my own conclusion based on the happiest set of circumstances that could occur.
I'm also going to have to suggest reading Atlantis Code by Charles Brokaw. I think everyone in the world has heard the story of the lost city of Atlantis, and this story revolves around a linguist and the church in sort of a conspiracy action packed kind of novel. I enjoyed it so much that I also have decided to somehow make money to buy the authors other books, as I've heard that they are just as amazing as this one.
So, my mind fed and some time wasted I find myself walking from room to room in our small apartment like a zombie. Since I'm in the first day of my no talking period with my mother and not really feeling up to sharing what happened on the phone with my friends, I'm at a loss of who to talk to. My boyfriend won't get home until much later, as his work days tend to get longer and harder through the year and I don't feel right exactly unburdening myself to him when I know he's exhausted on a level that I'm wishing I was at. *sigh*, I believe I'll go create something new in the kitchen. Sometimes there is nothing quite like rolling out dough and making new recipes to sooth my inner turmoil. Maybe I'll find myself hiding there, behind inspiration of new delicious ideas.
Ta Ta~
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