Women like to confuse jealousy with feelings of love when it comes to men, however I think there is more to the emotion than anyone realizes. I haven't seen my lover jealous in some time so it rather surprised me when it came to topic last night over our lovely dinner of chicken marsala. It got me thinking late into the night about what it actually is and where it comes from.
I suppose there are all kinds of jealousy however it all feels the same when confronted with it. When we are younger, we tend to think of jealousy as a term of endearment "ahhh he loves me so much that he's jealous of my guy friends!!" no....it's not quite like that. I believe we all stem from some kind of prehistoric need to mark what is ours and woe be to the one that comes too close to it.
I remember Robin Williams doing a segment on it, acting like a cat spraying walking around saying "that's mine, mine, mine" it was hilarious, but it got me thinking about how in the same way we all do this. It's like some chemical programmed into our brain.
Actually, it is programmed into our brain, or more like our horomones. Some scientists that studied the neurochemical basis of emotions believe that there are three stages to love, each with their own hormonal controllers:
Stage 1 – lust – ruled by testosterone and estrogen (the sexual hormones)
Stage 2 – attraction – controlled by dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin (those feel-good compounds)
Stage 3 – attachment – initiated by oxytocin (aka: the hormone thought to create the bond between mother and child; known to play a role in trust, empathy and generosity)
jealousy, they say, is like a 4th stage also related to oxytocin. Sadly there is also a 5h stage...infidelity which has been linked to a genetic allele in some studies, and has also been linked to high levels of the hormone estradiol in women.
All of these are released through the body into the air, we can pick up on them with just a tiny sniff in their direction, which in turn triggers our own chemicals to be released.
So just because jealousy and love are made of the same chemicals does that mean they are the same thing? I don't think so, apperently, despite that jealousy is made up of the same chemicals does not mean that entirely. Scientists found that jealousy actually comes from the same part of the brain that has to do with physical pain. Maybe that explains why it hurts so bad physically to find out someone is cheating on you. At the same time, them being linked together is also why we may feel delight at our opponents misfortune if they should be caused mental or phyiscal pain.
Wow, so while jealousy is caused as a stage of the love process, it does not in fact contribute to it nor does it relate to it. However on the other hand, a little jealousy is healthy in a relationship :)
So my lovers little bouts of the green emotion twice today were more endearing then harmful. When faced with an situation in having to become jealous of me earlier, he sought me out in the middle of the night to come back to bed with him. In the reaction of him seeking my familiar form I find love, but not in his defense of me earlier. Regardless, I love him also..if only he could be so understanding of my prehistoric chemical reactions when it's about him!! Damn men...
Ahh tonight I've decided to make Beef Stroganoff for dinner since he doesn't need to pack a lunch for tomorrow. His working today has left me with bereft of his company this weekend, and I plan to make the best of it tomorrow with what time we have left. I'll post the recipe later, as it's one of his favorite dishes and mine too <3
Now...a few links to get this out there for the world to see...
BlogCatalog
BLOG DIRECTORY, Submit blog free, Promote Blog, Best directory
Online Marketing
No comments:
Post a Comment